


Baby Steps

by OfCourseIAm



Series: A Girl Who's Too Domestic [1]
Category: Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun | My Little Monster
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Hand Jobs, Living Together, Misunderstandings, Suspected Past Abuse That Didn't Happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:59:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4134963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfCourseIAm/pseuds/OfCourseIAm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natsume thinks Kenji and Shizuku's relationship is going too slowly, so she gifts Shizuku with several books about sex.</p><p>Spoilers through ch44 manga. Disregards epilogue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Steps

**Author's Note:**

> I did not use honorifics in this work since I was pretty sure I would use them wrong, so please just assume all characters are using them correctly (with the exception of the time that the suffix -sama is used).
> 
> This is also the first part of my new series "A Girl Who's Too Domestic." The two other parts I've written are actually set before this, but I think this is the best one to read first.
> 
> This also contains one of the first sexual/intimate scenes I've ever written, so let me know what you think!

“I have a gift for you, Mitty,” Natsume chirped, and reached underneath the table to retrieve a light pink gift bag. She pushed the remains of their dinner aside to slide it across the table towards Shizuku.

“It’s not my birthday,” Shizuku said, staring at the bag.

“I knoooow,” Natsume answered. “But, well, Sasayan and I don’t need these anymore, and well… I thought perhaps you and Yamaken could use them.” A sneaky little smile slid over her face. “They’re books…”

Shizuku blinked at her, then reached over to grab the bag. Natsume had grudgingly accepted Shizuku’s relationship with Kenji, even though for months before that she had constantly been pressuring Shizuku to get back together with Haru. Unless it came up directly, Shizuku usually tried not to mention him.

Then she saw why this had to do with Kenji.

“101 Sex Positions… The Book of Orgasms… A Woman’s Guide to Seduction...” Shizuku read the first three titles aloud before glancing up at Natsume, a light blush starting to color her cheeks. “Why are you giving these to me?”

Natsume smiled benignly. “Mitty, you’ve been living with Yamaken for how long now?”

“Only five months!”

“Uh huh. And you’ve been dating for…?

“Eight.”

“And how much sex have you been having?”

Shizuku blushed. “Kenji just isn’t as keen on that stuff as Haru was.”

Natsume groaned. “Oh, Mitty. Please tell me you didn’t think he doesn’t want to have sex with you because he hasn’t been asking you all the time.”

“Why else would he have not asked about it?”

“Um, maybe because you’ve rejected him twice?”

Shizuku shrugged. “Fine. But I don’t need books on it!”

“But Mitty!”

* * *

Shizuku sighed and set the gift bag on the coffee table in the living room before going back into the foyer to hang her coat. In the end, she’d taken the books. Natsume had insisted.

She and Kenji lived together in a two bedroom, high dollar condo near the hospital. It had been Kenji’s place with a guestroom, initially, but then she’d had to move because her apartment complex was being reworked and well, it seemed the logical place for her to live and store her stuff until she figured out where else to live. She’d intended to be out within a month or so, but then… well, it was kind of nice. She had her own room, but in general, she slept in Kenji’s room with him. Except they really did sleep, which she supposed was what Natsume thought was the problem.

The living room was one of her favorite places in the condo, though. Most people would have called it a library. Right where the walls hit the ceiling you could see the dark green color of the walls, but below that, there were just bookshelves. A TV sat surrounded by books on one side of the room, and a plush couch surrounded by books on the other side, with a small wooden coffee table in between them. Most of the books were medical references of some sort, but some of them were Shizuku’s law books or other books owned by Shizuku or Kenji. The living room was also situated perfectly in between the foyer and the hallway that went to the kitchen and bedrooms, so it was her favorite place to wait for Kenji to get home.  

Shizuku sat down on the couch and reached into the bag. It couldn’t hurt to check out what was in the books, right? She wouldn’t read for long, only until Kenji got home ten minutes after eight. She could hide them before he arrived and decide what to do with them later.   

At 7:55, she heard the door into the condo click. Shizuku’s eyes widened on her page about backwards cowgirl. Shit. Now what? She would die of embarrassment if Kenji caught her with these. Shizuku grabbed the gift bag and shoved it under the couch. The door into the condo shut, and Shizuku realized that she still held the one on sex positions.  She hurriedly grabbed the nearest book that would thoroughly cover it and propped it open on her knees so he wouldn’t see there was a book inside.

A moment later, Kenji entered the room. His eyes immediately fell on Shizuku and he smiled softly. Shizuku blushed. Kenji could be an asshole to everyone else, but they never got to see that smile. She did.

Shizuku didn’t want to claim love too fast, not after what had happened with Haru. But she had, as of late, considered the possibility that she really had fallen in love with Kenji. He always seemed to make her heart skip a beat.

Especially when he was standing there, being attractive, while she had a book on sex in front of her.

Her cheeks began to heat up as she stared at him, before she quickly averted her eyes back down at the book.

“How was your dinner with Natsume?” Kenji asked.

Shizuku knew her face was flaming. She just knew it. But it would get worse if she looked at him, so her eyes were locked onto naked figures instead.

“Shizuku?”

“Oh!” Shizuku glanced up, then hurriedly back down as that filled her mind with pictures of Kenji in the positions of the young men in the book. “Oh, um, it was good.”

“And work?”

“Work was… good,” Shizuku muttered, staring at the page. That shouldn’t be anything strange, she was often engrossed in reading and gave short answers.

“My Endocrinology book looks fascinating,” Kenji said.

Shizuku bit her lip. “It is.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Especially since you hate biology.” With that, Kenji crossed the room in three large strides and reached between Shizuku and the textbook, pulling out the other book. His eyes widened as he looked at the cover, then opened to the page she’d been on. His face started to near Shizuku’s hue, but he was still far behind in that race. “Um… Shizuku?”

Shizuku stared up at him with wide eyes.  “N- Natsume gave it to me! She forced me to take it, I just thought I would…”

Yamaken blinked at the book again before stepping over the coffee table and crouching in front of her. He leaned forward and Shizuku couldn’t help but flush deeper at the intensity of his gaze. It almost seemed… heated… Would Kenji get turned on at the thought of her reading a book on sex? Enough to make a move on her? Haru had always been in the mood at the slightest thought of anything sexual. “Thought you would?” Kenji prompted.

“See what it was!” She blurted out. “Not to learn any of it, or use it, or anything!”

He stared at her for another few seconds, then placed the book on the coffee table. Shizuku stared back. Was this what Natsume meant? Would this be the spark of their sex life where he decided to make a move, now that he’d found her reading about sex positions? “Well, then,” Kenji said calmly. “I’m going to go change into more comfortable clothes, then heat up some dinner. I assume you don’t want any, since you ate with Natsume?”

“N-no, I don’t.”

“Alright then.” Kenji rose, gave her one last unreadable look, and headed down the hall to their bedroom. Well, his bedroom.

Shizuku collapsed again the cushions. What had that all meant? She could’ve sworn he would’ve taken it as a sign or something, even though it wasn’t, that she was ready for more… If he wanted her, that was. Hadn’t Natsume said it was all probably because he was waiting for her?

She fished out her phone and hurriedly sent a text to Natsume. ‘Kenji caught me reading 101 Sex Positions.’

The response came barely 10 seconds later. Of course. Sasayan was travelling right now. ‘Mitty that’s great! Why are you texting me instead of getting ready for sexy times?’

‘He didn’t say anything.’

‘You still had an opening!’

‘Haru would’ve taken that, if he wanted sex. I don’t think Kenji does.’

‘Oh Mitty. Please don’t be stupid. Talk to him. I’m sure that he’s interested.’

Shizuku sighed.

* * *

 Kenji threw his button-down into the laundry hamper and collapsed onto the bed, throwing a hand over his eyes. What was that about?

He didn’t want to push his luck with Shizuku. After all, she’d rejected him far too many times before accepting his initial courtship. So, Kenji waited for her.

Every step in their relationship so far, excluding Kenji’s asking her out for the third time, had greatly benefited by allowing Shizuku to start it. He hadn’t imagined months ago that she would be living with him for another three years, but when that godforsaken hellhole she lived in before needed repairs she had magically accepted his offer to come stay. She maintained that she would leave soon, but he hoped she would continue to cringe at the cost of renting her own place. Kenji’s condo was free.

He’d given her the guest room, of course. When he’d joked about them staying in the same room, she’d turned bright red and he hastened to explain that he wasn’t serious. Then on the sixth night of her stay, she’d come into his room to watch a documentary, and had fallen asleep. They slept that night in the bed together, all cozy. Kenji had savored it, figuring it wouldn’t happen again for at least a month. The next night she’d come back. And the next. Kenji was careful not to point out that she didn’t have even a toothbrush in her own bathroom. She only slept in her room when he was foolish enough to mention that she always slept with him, or when they had a disagreement. That meant three nights in her own bed after the first one in his.

Her eyes had flickered to his lips for the first kiss. Her hand had settled his on her breast after he accidentally brushed it and hastened to apologize. Things with Shizuku always worked out when she suggested them. They didn’t always work out when he suggested them.

Kenji groaned. So was this a suggestion? Or was this some sort of intellectual curiosity? Was this a hint that she wanted him to start something? She’d almost been gazing at him expectantly when he’d been crouching in front of her, but she hadn’t said anything.

If she was lying and she had bought the book herself, then it was definitely something he should act on. It wasn’t that Shizuku lied often. But when she did, it was often to save herself from being horribly embarrassed. If Natsume did give it to her… well, then, it was far less likely to be any sort of indicator.

He supposed he wanted to know enough to inflict the worst torture imaginable upon himself.

Kenji grabbed his cell phone and headed out to the balcony, closing the door behind him. He took a deep breath as he raised the phone to his ear after dialing.

“Hello Yamakeeeeen!”

“Please don’t draw my name out like that. And it’s Kenji now.” He’d imagined that when he got sick of Yamaken, everyone would just start calling him Kenji. Shizuku seemed to be the only one outside his family who had actually gotten the hang of it.

“Oh, fine, Kenji. Well, what is it?” Natsume’s voice had a peculiar edge of delight to it. She’d definitely given Shizuku the book. That would be the only reason she’d be happy he called.

“Nevermind. You already answered. B-”

“No no! Don’t hang up!”

Kenji sighed. “What?”

“What were you calling about?”

“The book. You gave it to her.”

“Oooh, yes. It’s okay, you don’t have to thank me.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Kenji growled. “By-”

“She doesn’t think you’re sexually attracted to her!” Natsume blurted out in a rush. “Come on, I can help you!”

Kenji stared off the edge of the balcony. “Come again?”

“She only dated Haru, you know? And he was always trying to get her into bed. You don’t, so she doesn’t think you want to have sex with her.”

“And you know this because...?”

“She was defending your lack of sex life after I told her why I thought you two needed those books. Look, Yamaken, I’m just saying, you should pounce on her. You won’t get through with hints, not after she’s been with Haru.”

“First, it’s Kenji. Second, last time I saw your face, Natsume, you were sitting at my dining room table telling Shizuku all the reasons that she should break up with me. You’ll excuse me if I don’t take your advice.”

“I know, I know. But Mitty really likes you. And I think she’s done with Haru. Now I just want her to be happy.”

Yamaken sighed. The things he did for this girl. “And what would your suggestion be?”

“I- I don’t know, just-”

He heard the balcony door open. “Kenji?”

Kenji spun around, and smiled as his eyes landed on Shizuku standing in the doorway. “I’ve got to go. Bye,” he said, and hung up on Natsume. Whatever.

“You didn’t have to hang up,” Shizuku said as she fidgeted with her hands.

“It wasn’t important. What’s up?”

“I heated up some food for you.”

Kenji smiled. “Thanks. Will you sit with me?” She usually did, but he always asked. He did the same for her when necessary, but he was home late far more often than she was.

“Of course.”

Neither of them said anything for the first minute or two after Kenji sat down to eat.

“Kenji?”

“Mm?”

“Do you want to have sex with me?”

He coughed and had to concentrate to swallow the food in his mouth. “Is this an invitation or an intellectual query?”

“Intellectual query.”

He wasn’t sure if he was relieved at that answer or not. “Are you asking about right now or in general?”

Shizuku thought for a moment. “In general.”

“Yes.”

Shizuku’s eyes widened. “O-oh. I didn’t realize…”

Kenji sighed and set his fork down. “It’s not a problem. I can wait.”

Shizuku nodded slowly. “Okay… That’s good,” she murmured, staring down at the tablecloth.

“Shizuku, why were you reading that book earlier?” He would try again. In case the discovery that he did have sexual thoughts about her changed that answer.

She didn’t look up. “Intellectual query.”

Kenji continued eating his food. Shizuku continued staring at the tablecloth.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” He asked finally. There. End of guesswork.

The tablecloth was a deep red. Perhaps Shizuku had been studying it so that she could reach that particular hue so quickly. “I- um…” she muttered, and finally looked back up at him. “I-Invitation or intellectual query?”

Kenji leaned forward and held her eyes with his own. “Either.”

“Right now or… in general?”

If she didn’t look so horribly embarrassed and awkward, Kenji would have thought she was playing games with him. “Either,” he said again.

For another long, long minute, Shizuku just stared at him, her face still bright red and her mouth opening and closing. Kenji kept taking deep breaths and eating. He didn’t like this. He had figured that that should be a rather short answer. After all, she kissed him passionately. She liked it when he touched her breasts. Surely, that meant she must have at least some interest in sex at some point in the future.

Finally, Shizuku spoke. “Kenji, I...” she trailed off, her eyes flickering everywhere else in the room but never landing on him.

Kenji forced his confidence up and gave her his most seductive smirk across the table. “Should I take that as a yes…?”

Shizuku glanced at him for a moment before going back to her random search of the room, her mouth quivering slightly. If he hadn’t known better, he’d think he was asking her to admit to a crime.

Well, at times Shizuku had been better at speaking through actions. Kenji rose from his seat and walked around their small table, bending over her and placing a hand on each arm of her chair. Shizuku gaped up at him, her eyes flickering side to side. He had, after all, removed most of her options for not looking at him.

Kenji leaned in until he was inches from her face. He heard her breath quicken. He leaned past her once her eyes had locked with his for a suitably long time, letting his cheek just barely brush the side of her face. He tilted his head so that his mouth was just beside her ear as he whispered, “Is that a yes?”

Shizuku shivered as he spoke. Kenji lightly kissed just underneath her earlobe.

“N-no!” Shizuku stuttered out.

Kenji froze for a moment, before leaning back so that he could look her in the eyes again. There was some strange emotion there. “No?”

“No,” she repeated, and stared him straight in the eyes. She seemed to be having no trouble looking at him now.

And he’d thought the sexual tension in the room was rising. “I- no to what? Now?” he asked.

“A- at all,” she said. And then he recognized what was in her eyes.

Fear.

Holy fuck.

Kenji immediately straightened and took several quick steps back. If Shizuku was afraid of him, he definitely should give her space. And her breath had quickened when he’d been close to her a minute ago. Was she just afraid of him?

He’d never known Shizuku to be afraid of telling someone to back off. After all, she had dated Haru for years. Whenever he was doing anything she objected to, Kenji had always watched her give Haru that cool gaze. She had never shown fear of Haru.

Then the rest of it hit him.

She didn’t want to have sex with him. At all. Along with being afraid of him.

He’d been so close. So close to having Shizuku, who he’d wanted for years, to having her feel the same way about him as he always had about her. He’d thought that they were nearly there, that she was finally falling for him, that maybe he would get the white wedding everyone had always expected Haru to have with her.

But instead he had no more love than he’d began with, only a girlfriend who was frightened of him being close to her and who clearly didn’t want him to get any closer.

In the end, Kenji didn’t say anything. He just picked up his plate, put the remains in the refrigerator, and left the dishes by the sink.

“Kenji?” Shizuku said, a faint note of alarm in her voice. Well, she had lived with Haru when he was angry. Perhaps she was frightened he was preparing to throw a plate at her head.

He walked down the hall to his bedroom, and locked the door behind him.

* * *

 “Mitty, saying you want to have sex with someone eventually is not a declaration of your undying love and devotion.” Natsume’s tone was strangely serious. Shizuku once again questioned why she’d thought it would be a good idea to get Natsume’s advice about Kenji over lunch.

“I only had sex with Haru because I loved him,” she replied. “If I tell Kenji I want to have sex with him, that’s the same thing.”

Natsume’s eyes widened. “You did enjoy sex with Haru, though, right?”

“What-what does that matter?”

“You said you only had sex because you loved him!”

“No!” Shizuku blushed. “No, I… I did enjoy it…”

“See, Mitty, sex is something most people do for pleasure. Yamaken wasn’t asking if you love him when he asked if sex was at all in your future.” Natsume leaned forward across the table. “Mitty, answer honestly. Have you ever thought about having sex with Yamaken?”

Shizuku bit her lip and glanced away. “Yes.”

“Were the thoughts associated with pleasant emotions or sensations?”

“Yes.”

“Then your answer to the question was yes. Don’t think of it as confessing your love. Think of it as seeking pleasure both physically and emotionally. Save going all the way for when you say you love him if you want.”

Shizuku sighed. “I just wish he hadn’t been so close. I couldn’t think.”

“Uh huh. Because you want to have sexy times with him.” Natsume leaned over the table, smiling. There was that gleam in her eyes again, just as when she’d handed over the books on sex. “Do you want me to tell you how to fix it?”

Shizuku straightened. “Yes.”

“Who gets home first today?”

“He does.”

“That won’t do. By how much?”

“Two hours.”

Natsume frowned. “Can you get home earlier? At all? So it’s only an hour?”

“Why?” Shizuku stared at her. “What difference does it make?”

The small little smile returned. “Because, Mitty, you’re going to turn on your Mitty-style seduction and pin him to the wall, naked, the second he walks through the door.”

Shizuku stared at her for a moment. “No.”

“But Mitty!”

* * *

 Kenji ran a hand through his hair as he made his way towards his car in the parking lot. He had one of the premier spots. They’d told him it was because his father owned the hospital, but he knew better. It was because otherwise he got lost in the parking lot.

Then he halted.

“Why the hell are you on the roof of my car?” He demanded.

Natsume giggled. “Why not, Yamakeeeeeen?”

Kenji groaned. Great. He had to go back home to try and explain to a scared Shizuku why he would be upset after being told he was a friendzoned boyfriend, but first, he had to deal with her annoying friend being on the top of his car.

Screw that.

He stalked over to her, grabbed her knees, and pulled rapidly.

Natsume yelped as she hit the ground. “Hey! I could’ve gotten hurt.”

“Too bad you’re not outside a hospital,” Kenji said, and walked around the car to get in the driver’s side. Of course, he had to unlock the car for that. She was inside before he was. Kenji slammed the door extra loudly behind him.

“Sooooo, how’s Mitty?”

He turned the car on. “Natsume, why are you here?” He frowned. “How did you even know which car was mine?”

“Oh please. You have the same one whenever you drop Mitty off. I noted it in my memory in case you ever abducted her.” Natsume nodded self-importantly.

“Natsume, why the fuck are you here?” Kenji turned towards her and turned his glare on full. That wasn’t too hard. He hadn’t had the best day, and he might as well let it loose now instead of on Shizuku.

She looked a little scared at least. “N-no reason, Yamaken. I just wanted to chat!”

“Kenji.” He paused. “Actually, call me Yamaguchi-sama.”

“Not in my lifetime,” Natsume proclaimed. Kenji waited for something else.

“What are you avoiding talking to me about?” He asked. “Is it Shizuku? Because that’s none of your business.”

Natsume sat there for a moment, motionless. Kenji sighed. So that was it. “Get out.”

“No!” she squeaked suddenly. “No, it’s not Shizuku!”

“Then…?”

“Iyo!”

Kenji’s gaze darkened. “Iyo? What about her?”

Natsume bit her lip and looked away. “Well, I… I was on campus earlier today.”

Kenji’s fingers drummed on the steering wheel. “And?”

“I saw Iyo talking to some boys, so I went over. But then she left, and I heard the boys talking about how they had told her that a group of people were coming over at 3:30, but really it was just her, and they were planning to gangbang her!”

Kenji’s eyes widened at the last phrase and he stared over at her. “And you put off telling me this for ten minutes?” It was already 3:10. The drive over to the college was about fifteen minutes.

“I’m sorry! I just- I know you are protective of Iyo, and I just didn’t want your anger to get misplaced at me!”

Kenji took a deep breath. She was a bit right about that one. He would have to try. “But you told Iyo?”

“I did! But she didn’t think I was telling the truth. Apparently they’re her friends from class.”

Another deep breath. “Where?”

Natsume gave him an address, and he plugged it into his GPS. Seventeen minutes. He could do that. They’d probably try to get her to relax before raping her.

“Out of the car.” Natsume nodded hurriedly and opened her door. “And Natsume… thanks.”

She smiled brightly at him. “No need to thank me, Yamaken.”

As soon as the car door slammed shut, Kenji was backing up the car. Bastards. He would show them not to touch Iyo. She was always so stupid and innocent, never believing people could truly have bad intentions. At least she’d moved on from Yuuzan. Then he would have Haru as a brother-in-law…

As he pulled out, he saw Natsume take out her phone and walk the opposite direction, calling someone.

* * *

 Forty minutes later, Kenji swore that he was going to kill Natsume. Or at least make her regret dropping by earlier today.  Either she had been mistaken or was downright lying, because Iyo had been furious at him for dropping in on her sorority’s induction for new members. No young men to beat up in sight.

It was 4:05 when he finally pulled into the garage by their condominium. An hour later than he was supposed to be. Stupid, stupid Natsume. Like he had wanted to add ‘getting yelled at by little sister’ to his long list of problems today.

He climbed the stairs two at a time, making his way up to their third floor condo. So he had about an hour before Shizuku would be due home. That was long enough for a nap. Definitely long enough for a nap. And then they could talk, and depending on how that went then maybe he would have to help pack up her stuff.

He really hoped not.

Kenji stuck his key in the lock and pushed the door open. There. Almost to his nap.

Then his body was the weight pushing the door shut, and lips were locked onto his.

Hm. Well at least they’d made out enough that he knew the taste of this mouth. He could feel Shizuku’s hands tightening on his jacket as she pushed her tongue into his mouth, sweeping it around his. Kenji moaned, letting his eyes flutter closed.

She pushed his jacket over his shoulders, tossing it off to the side. Her hands dug up into his hair, pulling his head down as she lightly nipped his lip. That was new. Shizuku had always been pretty black and white with kissing in the past. No teeth.

What was he thinking? This whole thing was new, especially if you considered that about five minutes ago he had been thinking she was both scared of him and not attracted to him. Wait… what did this even mean?

...Did he really care?

Kenji reached out to touch her, but Shizuku caught his hands and pushed them back against the door. His thoughts turned to some of his old taunts for Haru and he inwardly cringed. ‘She can’t stand your touch...’

Well, in the past she’d let him touch her.

Shizuku’s fingers finished undoing the last button on his shirt and pushed it over his shoulders so it hung from his elbows. Kenji shivered as her fingertips brushed the underside of his arm. He’d been in a tee-shirt around her before, of course, but… never had she actually undressed him.

Kenji slowly closed his mouth, forcing her to withdraw. “Shizuku, wha-”

“Later,” Shizuku murmured, sliding a hand up his tee-shirt. Kenji gasped. “Just don’t think right now.”

The hand under his shirt brushed over his nipples as Shizuku’s other hand gently pushed his head up and to the side, exposing his neck. He felt her breath there for a few moments, as her fingernails lightly raked the skin on his chest. Then she kissed just underneath his jaw and began to trace her lips up and down the skin. Meanwhile, the hand that had been tracing circles on his chest vanished to pull the tee-shirt up. She hooked the neck with her thumb, and broke her lips’ contact with his neck just long enough to gently pull it over his head. It joined his button-down holding his arms behind him. Kenji didn’t know if that was on purpose or not.  He didn’t really care.

Shizuku threaded her hand back into his hair to pull his head back down to kiss her. At the same moment their lips met, her body pressed against his.

She was wearing a bra. No shirt.

Skin on skin.

“Sorry,” he murmured, and he felt her smile against his lips as he hurriedly slid his arms free of his shirts and reached around to embrace her. He let a hand trace down from the bottom of her bra to her panties, just letting his fingers brush the bottom of her ass where her panties ended. Yep. Just two articles of clothing. And they weren’t her weird wool undergarments either. They were sheer, lacy things that he hadn’t even known she owned.

That curiosity satisfied, he kept one arm around her waist, her bare waist, while reaching up with the other, tracing it around her back. He wanted to touch her breasts, but then he’d have to separate their bodies, and he was rather enjoying the sensation of their chests touching for the first time.

Shizuku was nearly naked in front of him, and had just undressed him from the waist up.

Kenji moaned.

Shizuku smiled and shifted a little bit, though she kept the contact between them intact, her right hand in his hair and her left on his shoulder. Then her leg slid between his, putting light pressure against his erection. Kenji could have sworn that his hips started to thrust of their own accord. The hand on his shoulder disappeared, and he felt it reappear on his arm that was still holding her waist. Kenji hadn’t minded it there. He really hadn’t. He didn’t want to rush her and he was already full of sensations from finally, finally getting his arms full of her.

She moved his arm down so that his hand was holding her ass and Kenji moaned again. Then her hand shimmied in between their bodies, cupping his erection right above her knee. Kenji gasped against her lips. His mouth was quickly claimed again as Shizuku’s tongue pushed back inside.

Then his pants were undone and his boxers were being pushed down with them. Kenji’s eyes opened for part of a second before he closed them again and continued kissing her. She was initiating this, after all. As he had thought earlier, everything turned out well when she started it. Her hand grasped his cock, and the rest of his thoughts left him as he moaned.

Towards the end he had to stop kissing her because he was breathing too hard, but he still felt her lips on his neck as he came. For a few moments, Kenji just let his head hang there. Then Shizuku reached up and pushed his head up to kiss her slowly. By the time they broke apart, Kenji felt a little bit more… coherent.

“Did you just get cum on my face?” He asked.

“I’ve heard it’s good for the skin,” Shizuku deadpanned.

Kenji glanced down. “Good. Since there’s a lot of it on your legs and stomach.”

Shizuku shrugged and reached over to a wooden chair with a tissue box on it, grabbing a few and wiping the cum off her.

And damn if that wasn’t arousing in its own sort of way. Kenji tucked himself back into his pants. “That chair isn’t usually there.”

“Of course not. I moved it there.”

“Why?”

“To hold the tissues.” Shizuku glanced back up at him and smiled sweetly. “You have a streak of cum on your cheek.”

Kenji raised an eyebrow, and made his posture as casual as he could as he leaned against the door. “Then why don’t you wipe it off?” He asked.

Shizuku took a step forward with a clean tissue, pausing before wiping it gently across his cheek. Kenji gazed at her. So beautiful. A moment later, Shizuku leaned forward again and their lips met. She stepped back after they had kissed for another minute and smiled at him again, this time a bit timidly. “Does that make everything clear?”

Kenji blinked. “What?”

“About last night.”

Kenji stared at her, then covered his eyes with his hand as he remembered. Right. That was a thing that happened. Then this happened. “Oi, Shizuku…” he said. “I’m happy that this… thing… happened, but what the fuck?”

Shizuku stared at him with wide eyes. “I would’ve thought it would be obvious.”

“It really isn’t.” Kenji sighed. “I-” He stopped. “Can you put clothes on for us to have this conversation? It’s a little…”

Shizuku reached behind her and unsnapped her bra, sliding it off and tossing it to the side. Kenji gaped at her. Her breasts were… his mouth was suddenly dry.

“Kenji?” Shizuku asked innocently.

Kenji stared at her desperately. “I- Shizuku, what?”

“What?”

Kenji’s eyes were locked on her breasts. He started to reach out, but then quickly locked his hands behind his back. No. This was important. “Why are you doing this?”

Shizuku tilted her head. “That didn’t make it clear?”

“N- no!” Kenji exclaimed. How was she just standing there nearly naked, all blasé? If she cared so little about being naked, could she just stop wearing clothes? But then he supposed he would never get work done, and neither would she. And they sure wouldn’t talk much. “Look, Shizuku, please put clothes on. I just- I can’t- please.”

There was a flash of disappointment in her eyes, but Shizuku bent over to pick up his button-down, shrugging it on and starting to do the buttons. “Will this work?”

Kenji paused, his mind already starting to clear a little. The shirt just barely covered her panties, but it was enough. He took a deep breath. “It’ll do. Let’s sit down.”

Shizuku nodded and followed him to the living room. Kenji had to work hard not to trip. His legs were a little shaky right now. A little too late, he pondered that it might’ve been a good idea for him to put a shirt on as well. But he wasn’t going to go back into the foyer to grab one.

He sat on one side of the couch, facing the other end where Shizuku soon took a seat. She sat cross-legged, facing him. He could see the dampness of her panties. Damn. He’d forgotten to make sure she orgasmed. Later, he thought to himself. Later.

After all, he had to have some sex appeal for her to be aroused. Or she’d been watching porn until he arrived.

He forced himself to look up at her face, only to discover that she was now bright red.

“You okay?” he asked.

Shizuku nodded hurriedly. “Yes, of course. You wanted to talk?”

She’d given him a handjob five minutes ago, and now she was blushing from sitting on the couch with him. What a strange girl he had chosen.

“Okay,” Kenji began. “I could’ve sworn that yesterday you said that you didn’t want to have sex with me.”

Shizuku shook her head quickly. “I did. But I just- I got confused, and you were so close, and I just… I couldn’t think,” she confessed. “I didn’t mean that.”

“Then why did you say it?” Kenji leaned his head against his fist, his elbow propped against the wall. Shizuku looked so badly like she wanted this conversation to end, and he ached to grant it to her. But whenever he wanted to, her eyes of fear with her words of rejection would return to him.

He hoped to death that she wasn’t actually afraid of him.

“It…” Shizuku looked anxious for a moment before she glanced down. “It was the safest option.”

Kenji felt like someone had punched him. So that was it? She’d been afraid that he would force her if she said she did want to have sex? He took a deep breath. “Shizuku, I don’t know what gave you this impression but I… I wouldn’t hurt you.” Kenji swallowed. “You’re very important to me. I wouldn’t ever…” he sighed. His heart felt like it was breaking and he didn’t even know how to express himself so it wouldn’t have to break anymore. “Please don’t worry,” he finally said. “If I ever do anything that upsets you, you can just tell me. I won’t hurt you. I won’t.” Kenji finally urged himself to look at her again. He didn’t know what he expected. Maybe more fear, at worst, or preferably some sort of happiness that she didn’t need to worry.

He didn’t expect cold steel.

“That was what Haru said,” Shizuku responded. Her voice was ice. “He never meant to hurt me. But of course things went wrong, and of course he did.”

Kenji’s jaw tightened at that realization. Goddamn Haru. He hadn’t even known about that. He would kill the stupid punk next time he saw him.

“I won’t,” he said again. “I’m not Haru, Shizuku. You can just ask me to stop doing something, or anything, and I will. I swear it. I- fuck.” He covered his face with his hand, pushing his hair back slightly. Everything was darkening with that realization. Everything. She hadn’t wanted him to touch her at first. The way her breath had quickened when he’d leaned over her last night. Everything that he hadn’t thought could be perceived in a bad way. Sleeping in his bed every night. Perhaps Haru had been less violent when he could sleep with her? The kissing, the touching. It could all be interpreted differently. Maybe last night she’d been scared he was going to force her sexually, but earlier she’d realized that he would be more angry from being denied. What if she was just trying to appease him by attacking him when he came through the door? Do things on his terms so that she wouldn’t be forced to do anything or be injured?

He wanted to reach out to her. He wanted to hold her and tell her that it would be okay and he wouldn’t touch her again. But that would involve touching her, and he wasn’t sure how he would manage to do that again. Not now that he knew he had basically been assaulting her whenever he’d kissed her.

“Kenji?”

“I’m sorry,” he said against his hand. “I’m so, so sorry, Shizuku.”

The couch shifted slightly and he felt slender fingers wrap around his wrist, pulling his hand gently away from his face. Kenji had just enough time to glance up before Shizuku’s lips lightly pressed against his.

Her lips were so sweet and so perfect. Every instinct made him want to pull her onto him and devour her mouth, run his hands all over her body. His brain reminded him of all of the reasons she could be kissing him, and he wanted to push her away so that she stopped killing him like this. But then he would be pushing her. His hands ended up clenching beside him. Fuck. He had no idea what to do now, and no idea what to do with the feeling of relief when she finally pulled away.

She looked frightened and sad again.

He hadn’t even done anything.

“Why do you look so upset?” Shizuku asked softly. She bit her lip and looked away. “I just don’t want to rush things this time. I want to be sure. And you deserve me being sure.”

He ignored the question about why he was upset. Kenji wasn’t sure how he could try to answer that. “Sure of what?” he asked.

Shizuku blushed and swallowed. “My feelings for you. Haru and I went too fast with feelings. I couldn’t think of what to say when you asked me about my feelings about you so I just… I said the least committed thing. Like choosing a safe answer on a test.”

Kenji stared at her blankly. “Hang on. By ‘safest’ you meant ‘least committed.’”

Shizuku blinked at him. “Of course.”

Kenji’s mind moved at hyper-speed to rewrite their conversation and he groaned. Then he reached out and grabbed Shizuku’s shoulders, pulling her towards him and hugging her tightly to his chest.

“Kenji?”

“Take your time,” he muttered against her hair. “Take as much time as you need with feelings.”

“Okay,” she whispered against his chest. There was silence for a moment before Shizuku spoke again. “I’m sorry about the thing with Iyo. Natsume helped me figure out what to do, but she had to delay you for an hour since I had a meeting until 3:30.”

“It’s worked out now,” Kenji said, and ran a hand up Shizuku’s back under the shirt. Perhaps another day he would’ve felt angry with Natsume. Today he could only feel relief and exhaustion.

“Kenji? If you want dinner, I need to get started on that soon.”

“Let’s order in food,” he said. “Just don’t move right now.”

He could feel the tension in her body betraying her confusion, so he loosened his arms slightly and rearranged her to a more comfortable position than squished against him. Shizuku let her head settle on his shoulder, sighing slightly.

“I meant Haru emotionally hurt me,” Shizuku said after fifteen minutes.

Kenji kissed her forehead. “I got that now.”

“Then do you want me to make dinner?”

“No.”

They sat there for a long time, until both of their stomachs were growling and Kenji agreed to get up and find his phone. Every once in a while they shifted positions, but Kenji just made sure that Shizuku was always touching him and was always comfortable.

As long as he was holding Shizuku, everything was okay.

  
  
  



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